A neonatal loss is the death of a baby who was born alive and died shortly after birth. The baby may have lived for a few days, a few hours or only minutes. The baby may have died for a variety of reasons, including prematurity, infection, defects of major organs or chromosomal abnormalities. The baby’s life-threatening condition may or may not have been detectable before birth. The grief process may be impacted by the gestation of the pregnancy and when problems were detected.
Whether you are parents who learned before or after birth that your baby may die, the initial feelings you experience are very similar. You now have to go from the highs of awaiting a precious baby, to the lows of deep grief. Your emotions and feelings may be constantly changing with the circumstances of your loss.
is something that no parent can prepare for. Feelings of guilt, shock, depression, anger, failure and grief are normal in the day, weeks, and months after the loss of an infant. Learning how to cope is the only way to get through such an incredibly painful and difficult time in your life. There is no right or wrong way to deal with grief, but there are certain things that can help you cope with the loss.
Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
- Allow yourself time to grieve. Take one day at a time and don't try to move on too quickly as this will only cause a setback in the healing process. Don't suppress the grieving process either as going through all of the emotions is important.
- Rely on support from family and friends. Your partner might not deal with the loss in the same way that you do but share your feelings with each other. Support each other in difficult times.
- Go out and be with other people but prepare for uncomfortable moments. Infant loss is still somewhat of a taboo subject. Talking about the loss of an infant is difficult and there are going to be uncomfortable moments in conversations. Be open and honest at these times.
- Get support from your doctor if necessary. Doctors can provide many resources to parents who have experienced the loss of an infant such as medications, support groups and counseling. Know that you will be changed forever but that you will survive.
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Honor your lost infant by wearing a reminder of your baby or displaying a photograph when things become easier. You can also honor your baby by helping others cope with similar losses. By getting involved with a crisis center or support group, you can help both yourself and others.
